If there were ever a time that I was perfectly content with feeling displaced and confused, tis now. I know that sentence seems to contradict itself, but it's a bit hard for me to explain. Content ... with being ... confused?? I'd like this post to reach a climax and end with some big bang of a spiritual revelation. However, tonight, I will write about my feelings...
Recently, more than ever, I have begun to realize the unique situation I have found myself in. For new readers, I graduated college 6 months ago and now have what I'd like to call a "big girl job." I'm soon to be 25 years old (my birthday is Monday, yay!) - I'm single- I don't have kids - and I'm out of school. This does not describe many people I know right now. Actually, I can only think of three. I have friends who are still in college, and I love them dearly, but we are in two different worlds. If I go to bed past 9:30pm I consider it a "late night," while my college friends are just beginning their night. They make spontaneous trips to each other's apartments and randomly go to Taco Bell at 11:30pm. By the time I'm getting off work for the day, they are heading to the library to study for the evening. My 'adult' friends are in another world as well. Of my three closest friends who are out of college - one is married with two daughters, one is engaged, and one is in Haiti. How's that for variety?
So, where do I fit in? It's crazy how content God has made me about this. As I stare at the purity ring on my finger, I can't help but think about the rings that may replace it one day; What they will mean, what they will represent, and if any of that will even happen. When I look at a paycheck stub, I can't help but wonder what that will grow to in the next year. (Let's hope it grows significantly... for my parent's sake, haha!) When I look at my friends who are amazing mothers, I cannot help but be so very grateful that it's her and not me. :) This is such a weird, sometimes stagnant, yet exciting time in my life. As I prepare to leave for Costa Rica, I think about the endless opportunities for a young single girl with nothing holding her back. "What I would give to have those days back sometimes," my more settled friends say to me.
When I ponder this long enough, I'm reminded to chat with God about it. When I chat with God about it long enough, I'm reminded to trust Him, rest in Him, and be content with His decisions. When I trust Him long enough, I'm reminded of all the times I have thought to myself, "I'm so glad my Father knows better than me."
So, at the end of the day, when I lay my head on my extremely soft pillow that I cannot travel without, I look at the TLW ring on left finger and thank Him for being in control, so I don't have to be. I thank Him for using this time of my life, that sometimes feels pointless, to prepare me for something bigger. Sometimes I ask where He wants to send me next and other times I just say "send me." But regardless, when it's all said and done, I just thank Him for knowing me.
Recently, more than ever, I have begun to realize the unique situation I have found myself in. For new readers, I graduated college 6 months ago and now have what I'd like to call a "big girl job." I'm soon to be 25 years old (my birthday is Monday, yay!) - I'm single- I don't have kids - and I'm out of school. This does not describe many people I know right now. Actually, I can only think of three. I have friends who are still in college, and I love them dearly, but we are in two different worlds. If I go to bed past 9:30pm I consider it a "late night," while my college friends are just beginning their night. They make spontaneous trips to each other's apartments and randomly go to Taco Bell at 11:30pm. By the time I'm getting off work for the day, they are heading to the library to study for the evening. My 'adult' friends are in another world as well. Of my three closest friends who are out of college - one is married with two daughters, one is engaged, and one is in Haiti. How's that for variety?
So, where do I fit in? It's crazy how content God has made me about this. As I stare at the purity ring on my finger, I can't help but think about the rings that may replace it one day; What they will mean, what they will represent, and if any of that will even happen. When I look at a paycheck stub, I can't help but wonder what that will grow to in the next year. (Let's hope it grows significantly... for my parent's sake, haha!) When I look at my friends who are amazing mothers, I cannot help but be so very grateful that it's her and not me. :) This is such a weird, sometimes stagnant, yet exciting time in my life. As I prepare to leave for Costa Rica, I think about the endless opportunities for a young single girl with nothing holding her back. "What I would give to have those days back sometimes," my more settled friends say to me.
When I ponder this long enough, I'm reminded to chat with God about it. When I chat with God about it long enough, I'm reminded to trust Him, rest in Him, and be content with His decisions. When I trust Him long enough, I'm reminded of all the times I have thought to myself, "I'm so glad my Father knows better than me."
So, at the end of the day, when I lay my head on my extremely soft pillow that I cannot travel without, I look at the TLW ring on left finger and thank Him for being in control, so I don't have to be. I thank Him for using this time of my life, that sometimes feels pointless, to prepare me for something bigger. Sometimes I ask where He wants to send me next and other times I just say "send me." But regardless, when it's all said and done, I just thank Him for knowing me.
The power a single Christian woman of God has is more than one could ever truly understand!!! I am so excited for you and I love you dearly. I love what God is doing in your heart and I love when you talk about it with Him. I also love when you talk about it with me :)
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy reading your posts.
Loving you always,
Your powerful/single/Christian/woman friend in Haiti ;)