Death's Relentless Pursuit

Death is:
 
                      Hard
           Permanent
   Empty
 
It is relentless.
 
It just might be the dang most ambitious thing any of us have ever laid eyes on. When it finalizes its attack, it stops at no one. It waits for nothing and frankly Scarlet, it just don’t give a damn about your plans. Let’s get real: death sucks to those of us left in its dust. 
I suppose we could thank death for its considerate warnings. After all, it often sends accidents, surgeries, and diseases to preface its unruly arrival. But we’re never really ready when it decides to grace disgrace us with its presence. “We knew it was coming, just not this soon,” seems to be one of the most common phrases uttered through tears at funeral services.
___________________________________________
As I stepped out of the car, I took a deep breath, for I knew what I was about to walk into. The night was hot, the air was thick, and every step closer to the door seemed heavier.  Walking in Papaw’s house I could tell others had been crying but for a moment, it was calm. Harold, Papaw’s dearest friend and caregiver, met me at the door of the dining room with a hug. “I told him you were coming in the morning,” He said, “I told him you were coming to read the Bible to him in the morning. But he just couldn’t wait.” For a brief second I was sad because I would have given anything to read one more Psalm and Proverb to Papaw. But before I could stop it, my mouth opened and out came, “There was no need for him to wait, he’s with the Real Thing right now.” 
 
I always was the curious type so when the coroner went back to see Papaw’s body and get details, I followed him into the bedroom. I sat down on his portable potty chair because well, it was the first available seat and besides, its what I sat on to read him the Bible so, why not? All the voices in the room faded, as I got lost in prayer, looking at his colorless body. “God, I don’t even know if I’m allowed to ask this. There’s no color on his face, there’s no blood running through his veins. I mean, there’s no life circulating through this body in front of me. Breathe life in to him, God.” Before I could beg the Father for revival any further, He stopped me. Maybe God was talking or maybe it was just my memory reminding me of what scripture says about heaven. But suddenly, I couldn’t ask God for life anymore. Cliché as it may sound, in an instant, my grandfather went from this life to the next. I mean, just like that, he went from being here to being gone. From suffering to perfection.
 
He went from being miserable in his recliner, covered with his beloved Ole Miss blanket, his body proving inadequacy to walking dancing down a street made of pure gold with undistracted attention to King Jesus. 
 
Just like that, all of it happened.
 
I thought of Isaiah and what God allowed him to see in chapter 6.
The train of His robe filled the temple.
I thought of the Psalms and Proverbs I had read to him in days before.
This day was the 8^th of August and once again, curiosity led him away from his side to the place we kept his Bible.
 
I smiled at God at I read Psalm 8.
 

O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!
Your glory is higher than the heavens.
You have taught children and infants
to tell of your strength
silencing your enemies
and all who oppose you.
When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—
the moon and the stars you set in place—
what are mere mortals that you should think about them,
  human beings that you should care for them?
Yet you made them only a little lower than God
and crowned them with glory and honor.
You gave them charge of everything you made,
putting all things under their authority—
the flocks and the herds
and all the wild animals,
the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea,
and everything that swims the ocean currents.
O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!

 
 
Last night, death came with relentless course. In the blink of an eye Papaw was gone and we were left with sorrowful tears and sweet memories. But in that very same blink, he stood in the presence of a God whose name is MAJESTIC and fills the whole earth. A God whose glory is higher than the heaven. He crowns an undeserving humanity with glory and honor.
 
Last night, Papaw was declared righteous and holy and deserving.

And now, he dances at the throne of the Most High. 

Apparently Our God Heals: Training Camp Part 2

You should know that I have zero theological training. One time in 9th grade I took a class called "Bible" and that was just because I was at a Christian school and didn't have a choice in the matter. Trust me, I’d rather been in Rhetoric or Debate. The one thing I remember about that class was sitting there wondering what the heck our Headmaster was talking about when he kept referring to “the fall.” I suppose I eventually figured it out and passed the class because I only had to take it once. But that single class is the extent of my sitting in a classroom learning anything even close to theology or doctrine or anything else. And to be honest, I like it that way.
 
So maybe I can’t explain to you WHY things happen the way they do. I can’t give you a prepared answer to WHY bad things happen or HOW God feels when they do. We could go rounds all day long talking about the WHY and the HOW and we’d both probably make some very good points. But right now, I want to talk about the WHO and the WHAT. Because some things happened at training camp that I can’t give an explanation for. All I can tell you is WHAT happened and WHO did it. And once you’ve experienced the power of the Holy Spirit like I did at training camp, you’ll know exactly what I mean.
 
On this particular night, our pastor and speaker for the week was teaching on prayer and healing and the combination of the two. I was so excited for this lesson because I’ve been praying for God to heal my back for so long now. When Ron asked if there was anyone who needed physical healing, a girl a few rows in front of me raised her hand immediately. Her name is Bekah. I had noticed Bekah right off the bat the first day of camp because she was on crutches. Although I saw her from a distance and I was discouraged by the amount of weight pressing down on me from my hiking pack, I instantly felt pain for Bekah. “My gosh it’s so hot and that poor girl has a boot on her leg. I can’t imagine dealing with all that and carrying a hiking pack too.” As I watched Bekah struggle to walk down to the front of the room without her crutches, I couldn’t help but wish it were I walking down that aisle for healing. 
 
As Bekah began to tell her story, something happened inside of me. But in this moment, all I could do was sit and stare. Bekah began to tell how she is a professional dancer and in many ways dancing is her ministry. God moved her and her husband, Josh, to LA and living in a secular world has been a very real struggle for them. She always had dancing to hold onto until she hurt her ankle. The more she spoke, the more I cried. A knot was growing in my stomach and my legs began to go numb. They started to tingle and eventually began to hurt. I felt actual pain in my legs and this is one of those times that I cannot explain WHY.
Now there were several girls on my squad who knew how bad my back has gotten over the last few months and I knew they were going to make me sit still long enough to pray over me. So I sat there thinking to myself, “I’m going to have to stand soon. These legs better start working.” Ron and a few others began to pray over Bekah and she felt tingles and movement in her foot. After a couple of minutes the whole room of 300+ stretched out our arms toward Bekah and begged God for healing.
 
As they continued to rub their hands over her leg and pray fervently for her, the rest of the room broke into small prayer circles praying over others who needed it. (I was one of those people and that specific blog is coming next so get ready.)
 
The next day in our first session all together, AIM staff asked Bekah for an update on her ankle. She said it felt so much better but she was still wearing her boot to be cautious and besides, she didn’t have a left shoe. As the week progressed and I would bump into Bekah during lunch or in the bathroom, she talked about how her ankle was healing and it was feeling better each day. She was still a little hesitant to take off her boot and walk freely.
 
One of the last days of camp I saw Bekah walking across campus with NOTHING ON HER FEET BUT TWO RUNNING SHOES. She was not limping or struggling … she was walking freely. “Wow, this girl is for real,” I thought. And then, it happened. That night with 300+ people in a room worshipping a God who had done more in that week than any of us could have imagined, it happened.
 
I was facing the back of the room praying for some girls on my squad when I heard the worship leader begin to sing “Revelation Song.” I looked up at Emily and said, “I love this song” as I turned around to worship. I couldn’t believe my eyes. They instantly filled with tears and my mouth dropped wide open. This is what I saw… 

Apparently Our God Exceeds Expectations: Training Camp Part 1

DISCLOSURE: You, the reader, should probably know that you may or may not like what you read here. If you can’t appreciate honesty, transparency, and raw, unedited word vomit then you should probably stop with this sentence. Because I, the writer, have a tendency to say (type) things that most people don’t say out loud. I tend to forget about social boundaries and sometimes I even cross those boundaries. As you’re reading, you may even think to yourself something like, “She really just went there?” And the answer will likely be yes.BUT, if you can hang with me to the end, you may see that I’m not so bad and we might actually have a lot more in common than you thought! So over the next few weeks I’ll be blogging a series about training camp and how I did or did not love every second of it. If you’re reading this sentence, you’ve decided to come along for the ride and quite frankly, I’m glad to have you here. Let’s go….     So what if AIM tells you to come to training camp without expectations? You know you had them. Even if you didn't know what to expect, you expected to be surprised.  It's ok, I had them too.  But honestly? Mine weren't so great. When asked if I was excited about camp my response was almost always, "Heck no. I heard it's worse than the race. The only thing I'm happy about is meeting my squad." But the truth is, I would have been fine putting that off for a few more weeks. I was not ready to leave my bedroom and bathroom and hot running water to sleep on the ground (and sometimes other conditions which shall remain secret) and take cold showers. And by "cold showers" I mean three. Three showers… in one week... cold... and the water pressure was equivalent to the drizzle when you don't turn the sink off all the way.   Some thoughts I had before training camp: “I don’t really want to do this.” “It’s ridiculous that they won’t tell us anything. We’re adults and we need details!" “If they don’t feed me enough food, I’ll just eat my snacks the whole time.”·      “Why am I leaving my parents and boyfriend and a good life for uncertainty?” “I have no gear. And when I get it, I won’t even know what to do with it.” “I wish God would free me from this.”   Who would be excited about this?  I'll tell you who.  Anyone who has ever been to a World Race training camp, that's who. Because that person knows what the heck he or she is about to experience and no bed or warm shower will compete with the power that comes from that encounter. I’m referring The Encounter. You know, the one that’s undeniable, irresistible, and quite impressive. I’d love to be able to narrow this encounter down to one specific time where the Holy Spirit came over me with strong wind like tongues of fire (Acts 2) but I just can’t do it. Simply because I believe that July 14-21, 2012 was one big kairos of lesson after lesson in which Jesus never left my side.   This is going to sound vague but there were chains broken. Chains that had held my brothers and sisters down for a very long time. Chains that were beginning to get tighter and leave bruises. They were now shattered and left to rust. There was healing. Physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental healing. Heck, people were healed in ways they didn’t even know they needed it. And mostly, there was love. A word that we toss around lightly indicating we enjoy/like/feel strongly about something. But this is a kind of love that I have never experienced in any other place. The best word I can think to describe it is: unconditional. Girls and guys became my brothers and sisters in a split second and before I knew it, they loved me… and they did it well. One night during worship everyone was singing "With Everything" to the top of our lungs. Rarely have I seen more passionate worship from young adults. There's a rather large part of the song that simply sings, "Woa" over and over and over and over and as I looked around the room I thought to myself, "This MUST be a glimps into heaven."    Some thoughts I’ve had since I’ve been home from camp: “I’ve honestly never been in a place where I felt more safe to be myself.” “God must have thought it was funny when my bag of snacks was invaded by ants and later ransacked by other campers… on night TWO.” “Thank you God for knowing how I tick. And that my ticking doesn’t have to look like anyone else” “Well, I made it through. I feel like I could take on the world.”   So ya see, training camp wasn’t all bad. I slept (or didn’t sleep) in some not-so-ideal conditions. I ate some not-so-ideal food for any time of the day on any day of the week. I walked some not-so-ideal miles up mountains all week and smelled some not-so-ideal scents. But I met a God who is ideal. In every way, reader, He is ideal. And this year He has planned out for me is more ideal than I can begin to tell you. I’m glad you’ve made it to this sentence and I can’t wait to tell you more!   After all, I feel like I could take on the world. And I just might try...