Directions, please?

I haven't seen the kids in a solid week. Not played with them, heard them, watched them, or smelt them. Playing with them reminds me of what simple happiness is. Hearing their laughter will put any negative mood to death. Watching them makes me grateful for what I have. Smelling them is bittersweet; it breaks my heart, but it's them. It's how they smell. It's their smell. I get to see them tomorrow and I might explode if it don't come fast enough.

Is this really my mission field? I ask Him all the time. WHY?? I thought I would be called to Lima or San Jose or Johannesburg. Somewhere with real mission opportunities, as if they don't exist here. I ask Him all the time, "GOD!! I'm begging You for direction. Show me where I'm supposed to be. I'm wide open, Father. My life is Yours, send me! Pick me! I will go!! I will spread Your Good News to all the nations." And in the middle of what I think is His silence, there is a small voice saying, "You're here. It's right here." I can't decide if that voice is small because I surpress it to that size, or because it's just that still. I don't want it to be here. Why would I be passionate about foreign missions if my mission field isn't foreign at all? Why would God waste such a desire, only to keep me here?

Rest. Wait. Serve. Worship. Pray. Love. Experience. Rest.

I would like to tell you that I have sought long and hard over this, and come to some type of conclusion. Well, the seeking part is accurate... but the conclusion part, not so much.

Won't you pray this with me? I wake up everyday and beg God to show me direction for that day. I beg for opportunities to love because that makes for opportunities to share Him. I beg FOR love because I know I am not capable of loving the people He is going to be put in front of me. I beg for a humble attitude and a pride-less heart. Won't you intercede for me and petition the Lord to send me in His ways.

And would you pray this for yourself? Would you wake up tomorrow, or even stop right now, and pray. Really, pray - beg the Holy Spirit tot take you over today. Beg for direction and a chance to share His love with someone really unloveable. May we not become legalistic in our "obedience" to our Father, but instead surrendered. 


Amen.





1 comment:

  1. Whether here or in Lima, God IS calling you to foreign missions. Do you not know that their situation is "foreign" to us. We always had clothes, food, shelter. Along with iPods, bedroom suites, TVs, and snacks. We eat until we will explode and have no doubt that we can eat again in two hours if we feel the WANT, not even need. So do you think you have to go to Lima to be in a foreign land? No. You're in one. Right across the highway is a foreign land. One we know nothing about. Love you! And praying for you!

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