Tonight we are staying at my parent's house - we'll see how that goes...
(Flashback)
I felt my head swell as he described the excitement on the girl's face when they got to school this morning. It got worse when the guidance counselor came in and referred to me as "spoiling kids around here." It must be the way parents feel when they buy their kids a new outfit or their first car. A sense of pride, perhaps - but mostly just a joyful heart. Coach B said the girls ran straight in and told everyone about their trip to Wal-Mart yesterday. It was, apparently, the highlight of their month. Before I could process another thought, I heard Him loud and clear - "You love them because I first loved you."
It was all He had to say. I knew what He was getting at. No matter the situation, He always seems to find a way to point out my insufficiencies and His might. But He is God, so I'm okay with that. I'll be honest- today has been an adventure. I'm going to post more pictures and in them, the kids look very calm and their playing appears structured.
The kids, and their games, and their attitudes, however- are not. Not calm or structured. It started when we left Mary's house. Myself, Erin, Meikayla, Asia, Brian, and the newest member to the clan - Dee. All 6 of us packed in my car like sardines. Immediately Meikayla was sad because Asia had her Justin Beiber card. (Daniel bought Meikayla a Justin Beiber doll for her birthday, which is today. I have the best friends in the world.) Brian was trying his best to fall asleep in his carseat while Dee and Asia told us stories about how their Daddy went to jail. They're 2, 4, 5, and 8 years old and the memories they share will break your heart.
On the way home, to my parent's, Asia cried every time we passed a deer or a creek or a field of cows and she didn't get to see it our her window. Well, cried is an understatement. Meikayla told me stories about the girl next door trying to fight them. "I will always stick up for my sister, even if she IS a mean girl," she said. Asia is far from mean, but I remember what it was like growing up the big sister. The second we pulled up at the house, it was as if they all ate 3 energy pills. I have never seen a child so wild and destructive as I did when Dee got inside and began playing with toys. There was no containing him.
After about an hour it was time to eat which was a surprisingly easy process. We even sang happy birthday to Meikayla and put a candle in her hamburger :) She made a wish...
Bath time was soon to come and much to my surprise again, it was the highlight of the night. "Do we get to bathe tonight," asked Dee, as he jumped up and down at the thought of a potential bath. "Absolutely... with BUBBLES!!" I said, and he ran straight for the bath tub. The boys first, then the girls.
Now it's bed time. Praise Jesus!! I can put them to bed, clean up their toys, write this blog and perhaps get some sleep myself.... so I thought. 1 hour after bedtime, I'm still fighting with kids about who is going to sleep where. We started with the boys on a mattress on the floor, Meikayla in a mushroom chair (per her request) and Asia and I in the bed. YAY! Lucky me... only one child in the bed tonight... so I thought.
Dee wanted in the bed, so Brian was on the floor, Miekayla in the mushroom chair, and Asia, Dee, and myself in the bed. Ok, maybe only two kids in the bed tonight... so I thought.
Miekayla decided she wanted to watch the computer as I typed and therefore needed on the bed. Which left the mushroom chair open - Dee happily took her place. So that left Miekayla, Asia, and myself on the bed - Dee in the chair - and Brian on the floor. Great, still only two kids on the bed. So I thought, until I felt a little body pull the covers off me from the foot of the bed. Brian, you little rat! He wasn't trying to make us cold, he just wanted on the bed.
So NOW- as I lay here and type this, Asia is putting my right arm to sleep with her head resting on it, Meikayla is laying next to her trying to decide if she likes the cartoon I put on TV for them, and Brian is laying in the small spaces between Miekayla and Asia's legs. Dee, of course, is still in the mushroom chair not even considering closing his eyes at this point. As long as he stays there, I am fine - for he is a hand full. 4 hands full.
I have arthritis in my spine, spurs on my vertebrae, and minor scoliosis. I have to take 8 joint vitamins a day and I'm 24 years old. Sleep is very important to me. Comfortable sleep is very important to me. It could mean a pain free day tomorrow, but it's not likely. Why am I saying this? Because when I look at those dark brown eyes staring at me, all 8 of them expecting to sleep next to me, my desire for comfort is suddenly non-existent. Its then that I don't understand where my selfish desires went. Ashli is selfish when it comes to sleep. She is selfish when it comes to comfortability. She is especially selfish when it comes to her bed. Ah, but Jesus is not. So this is where I hear His voice again. And it's loud and clear again...
"You only love because I first loved you."
First John 4:19
(Flashback)
I felt my head swell as he described the excitement on the girl's face when they got to school this morning. It got worse when the guidance counselor came in and referred to me as "spoiling kids around here." It must be the way parents feel when they buy their kids a new outfit or their first car. A sense of pride, perhaps - but mostly just a joyful heart. Coach B said the girls ran straight in and told everyone about their trip to Wal-Mart yesterday. It was, apparently, the highlight of their month. Before I could process another thought, I heard Him loud and clear - "You love them because I first loved you."
It was all He had to say. I knew what He was getting at. No matter the situation, He always seems to find a way to point out my insufficiencies and His might. But He is God, so I'm okay with that. I'll be honest- today has been an adventure. I'm going to post more pictures and in them, the kids look very calm and their playing appears structured.
The kids, and their games, and their attitudes, however- are not. Not calm or structured. It started when we left Mary's house. Myself, Erin, Meikayla, Asia, Brian, and the newest member to the clan - Dee. All 6 of us packed in my car like sardines. Immediately Meikayla was sad because Asia had her Justin Beiber card. (Daniel bought Meikayla a Justin Beiber doll for her birthday, which is today. I have the best friends in the world.) Brian was trying his best to fall asleep in his carseat while Dee and Asia told us stories about how their Daddy went to jail. They're 2, 4, 5, and 8 years old and the memories they share will break your heart.On the way home, to my parent's, Asia cried every time we passed a deer or a creek or a field of cows and she didn't get to see it our her window. Well, cried is an understatement. Meikayla told me stories about the girl next door trying to fight them. "I will always stick up for my sister, even if she IS a mean girl," she said. Asia is far from mean, but I remember what it was like growing up the big sister. The second we pulled up at the house, it was as if they all ate 3 energy pills. I have never seen a child so wild and destructive as I did when Dee got inside and began playing with toys. There was no containing him.
After about an hour it was time to eat which was a surprisingly easy process. We even sang happy birthday to Meikayla and put a candle in her hamburger :) She made a wish...
Bath time was soon to come and much to my surprise again, it was the highlight of the night. "Do we get to bathe tonight," asked Dee, as he jumped up and down at the thought of a potential bath. "Absolutely... with BUBBLES!!" I said, and he ran straight for the bath tub. The boys first, then the girls.Now it's bed time. Praise Jesus!! I can put them to bed, clean up their toys, write this blog and perhaps get some sleep myself.... so I thought. 1 hour after bedtime, I'm still fighting with kids about who is going to sleep where. We started with the boys on a mattress on the floor, Meikayla in a mushroom chair (per her request) and Asia and I in the bed. YAY! Lucky me... only one child in the bed tonight... so I thought.
Dee wanted in the bed, so Brian was on the floor, Miekayla in the mushroom chair, and Asia, Dee, and myself in the bed. Ok, maybe only two kids in the bed tonight... so I thought.
Miekayla decided she wanted to watch the computer as I typed and therefore needed on the bed. Which left the mushroom chair open - Dee happily took her place. So that left Miekayla, Asia, and myself on the bed - Dee in the chair - and Brian on the floor. Great, still only two kids on the bed. So I thought, until I felt a little body pull the covers off me from the foot of the bed. Brian, you little rat! He wasn't trying to make us cold, he just wanted on the bed.
So NOW- as I lay here and type this, Asia is putting my right arm to sleep with her head resting on it, Meikayla is laying next to her trying to decide if she likes the cartoon I put on TV for them, and Brian is laying in the small spaces between Miekayla and Asia's legs. Dee, of course, is still in the mushroom chair not even considering closing his eyes at this point. As long as he stays there, I am fine - for he is a hand full. 4 hands full.
I have arthritis in my spine, spurs on my vertebrae, and minor scoliosis. I have to take 8 joint vitamins a day and I'm 24 years old. Sleep is very important to me. Comfortable sleep is very important to me. It could mean a pain free day tomorrow, but it's not likely. Why am I saying this? Because when I look at those dark brown eyes staring at me, all 8 of them expecting to sleep next to me, my desire for comfort is suddenly non-existent. Its then that I don't understand where my selfish desires went. Ashli is selfish when it comes to sleep. She is selfish when it comes to comfortability. She is especially selfish when it comes to her bed. Ah, but Jesus is not. So this is where I hear His voice again. And it's loud and clear again...
"You only love because I first loved you."
First John 4:19
This is my favorite post so far. I love it. I also love God's love you are showing those children :)
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good person to do this
ReplyDelete