Look at Me

Women are mean.

And I woke up with a sore throat.

And the pain in my back increases by the second.

And Facebook is covered with tragedy and negativity.

And it feels like I'm never going to raise the $20,000 I need.

And headaches don't care if I have work to do or people to see or places to go.

And I have purses to mail and bracelets to sell and thank-you cards to write.

And church. And work. And Bible study with my World Race group. And time

with my family. And that phone call from the girl who needs advice. And I have fundraisers

that need planning. And I need to spend time with my sister. And I want to swim. And I'm behind on

that book I'm reading. Those 8 books I'm reading. And my head swells just from thinking about all this. And just when I think I am about to run out the door screaming and crying with my hands in the air and never looking back ............................................................................................................

"Stop. Put the computer down and step away from the door. You aren't going anywhere."

Oh, well aren't we feeling bossy today?

He tells me this and it's the sweetest words He could use at that moment.

"Look at me." - but I resist like a child avoiding a spanking.

"No, look at me," He says. "Don't take your eyes off me."

It's like a movie scene. When we've watched 90 minutes of boy-girl chase and finally at the end when everyone involved has been deceived, misunderstood, or just stubborn - boy sees girl through a crowd. Girl notices boy noticing her. They walk towards each other and as they gaze upon the other, everything around them fades. Literally. (We literally see it fade on our TV screen.)

That's what happens. "Don't take your eyes off me," He says, and everything around me fades.

I sit on my bed, indian style, with worship music and my favorite NLT. Sometimes I sing, sometimes I read, and sometimes I just sit. But as long as I have my eyes on Him, the chaos around me turns to a big blur of neutral colors and none of it matters at all.

I choose to trust that the Lord has not called me to the life of routine and safety that I would love to lead. But instead, He has called me specifically to The World Race for this season. Even if that means a lot of money, sweat, stress, tears and blood. And through all of that, I will choose to focus on my Savior and worship my King.

So yeah.